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Sit, have a cuppa!

Welcome to Alfred's tea room! The forefront of the Alfred Pennyworth loving world.

I'm sure you have questions.

Why are you obsessed with Alfred?

I have old man autism next question. But in all seriousness, his role as the caretaker of batman has captured my heart as someone who also needs assistance with daily tasks. I'm a sucker for vague backstories I can mold to my liking. His little old man face is oh so kissable.

Who is that handsome fellow to the left?

That's my custom made Alfred doll! He was designed by me and made by Meizai on etsy, check out her wonderful work here.

Do you have a favorite Alfred portayal? Least favorite?

Batman: The Animated Series Alfred is the best, Gotham Alfred is the worst, I take no questions. I have ranked every Alfred portrayal I have seen in this video and the box below. Go see how your Alfred stacks up!

What is this 'pennywaynes' you're on about?

'PennyWaynes' is the ship name of Alfred with Thomas and Martha Wayne (Bruce Wayne's parents). I have a whole page about it coming soon.

A non-exhaustive ranking of Alfreds

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Batman: The Animated Series, S Tier

The OG, the blueprint, the greatest of all time. BTAS Alfred is the quintessential Alfred to me. He's sarcastic but kind, he truly cares for Bruce in everything he does. He and Bruce have a wonderful dynamic and natural banter. His voice, by the impeccable Efrem Zimbalist jr., is a defining trait. The perfect voice to match his demeaner and dialogue. BTAS Alfred will always be the Alfred of my heart.

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Gotham, F tier
Boo, boooooo, we hate your pussy. The exact opposite end of the spectrum. Practically unrecognizable from the original. He's mean spirited, gruff, rude, and just overall kind of an asshole. I thought it couldn't get worse than grabbing children and shaking them around as a consistent character trait, then he straight up decked a 13 year old. It is on sight with this guy. Disrgrace to the Pennyworth family name.

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The Batman (2022), B tier

I am not immune to his DILFish charm. Very much a tired dad of a tiresome emo son. A pretty great performance on the part of Andy Serkis. I enjoyed his role in the movie and the overt themes of fatherhood. I really hope to see more of him in the sequel. Also: I see you homoerotic devotion to Thomas and Martha. Pennywaynes trutherism is real TO ME.

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Batman and Robin, Batman Forever, S tier

My sweet handsome grandfather. Clap for my wife or I'm blowing up this fucking building. Michael Gough is such a wonderful Alfred. I usually don't trust Alfred's sans mustache but his little circle glasses make up for it. He probably the most fatherish on the list, with a kind of old man sweetness that isn't usually ascribed to Alfred. Especially in Batman and Robin, he's peak grandpa. 10/10.